MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #39

Here we go, time for another Milspouse Fill-In! For more info on the fill-in visit Wife of a Sailor's blog.


1. Have you and your spouse agreed to live in separate locations (a geographical bachelor tour) knowing that the short-term inconvenience would have long-term benefits for your family? How did it work for you?

We have never lived apart since joining the Army unless it was required (i.e. deployment). For us, not having children means that we can pretty much pick up and move without too many consequences, other than me having to leave my job. Although the decisions may have been more difficult if we had kids in school, we still firmly believe in keeping our family together as much as possible. What that means for our future, I don't know. It would be a tough decision!

2. What is your favorite thing about being a MilSpouse?

I love the relationships that I have formed through being an Army wife, because they are unique and different than all my other friendships made in normal circumstances. The high-stress environment meant that we all grew closer a lot quicker than we would have in the civilian world.

I also love all of the lessons that I have learned along the way. This lifestyle has challenged me in more ways than I ever imagined, but I have been able to overcome every obstacle.

3. If you could still have your spouse/significant other and your family, but take the military life out of it…would you?

This is a tough one to answer for me. I certainly wouldn't change the past because, as I mentioned above, I'm thankful for those experiences! However, for the future, we aren't sure whether we will make a career out of this Army thing or not. The main factor for this decision is our desire to start our family, and the thought of adding children to the mix worries us. We just want what's best for our family and if the deployment schedule continues to stay as frequent as it is now, we're not sure the Army is the best thing for our future family. We still have 3+ years left before we face the decision of whether to stay in or get out, so we're not coming to any conclusions right now. We'll just evaluate things when the time comes.

4. What have your homecoming experiences been like after a year long tour of separation?

Our longest separation was for my husband's only deployment thus far: just shy of 12 months. The homecoming experiences was, in one word, AMAZING. I know a lot of people talk about how there is an adjustment period and things start out rocky, but for us things just got right back to the way they were, if not better! We appreciated each other more than ever, we cherished every moment spent together, and every night was like a date night even though we were just hanging out at home. It was so nice to have him home and I honestly think the months following his redeployment were one of the best times in our marriage!

5. If you have a child(ren) why you did you choose their name(s)? If not, why would you name your child something?

We obviously don't have children yet, but baby names are something we have talked about. We both love the idea of family names, but then you run into the issue of jealousy from other family members, so we're not sure that's the route we'll take. In general, we like classic and somewhat old fashioned names that aren't too crazy popular. I grew up as an Ashley when the name Ashley was at it's peak of popularity in the 80's, so I have a strong desire to not name my child something trendy!